My husband: my manly man

This is random, but I'm so thankful for my husband.

I'm thankful that he married me and loves me, despite all of my shortcomings and sins and selfish habits.

I'm thankful that he embraces my career choice. He saw my dream of being a doctor crushed in college; he helped me through the years of my life when God convicted me to surrender my career desires and love Him first; and during those years, he prayed for me as my heart grew for the lost; and he still wanted to marry me when I was led back to this crazy journey of medicine.

He spent the first two years of our marriage serving me humbly, quietly, without complaints. The first two years of marriage were also my first two years of med school - inarguably the hardest and most grueling half of my medical education. While we look back fondly on these years [and on our tiny "first home" together!], they were definitely not glamorous. My husband endured many gross, barely-edible meals and never once said a dish was bad. My husband did the dishes and cleaned our apartment countless times, never pointing out that it was mostly my mess that he was cleaning. And before returning to school himself, my husband came home after long, stressful days at work to a busy and pre-occupied wife who barely kissed him hello before burying her face back in the mountains of medical school books. And yet he still loved me, still massaged my shoulders when they were stiff, still cleaned the house when I complained, still did the dishes whenever I "cooked" him anything.

And now we're in our third year of marriage and I'm in my third year of medical school. The reality of what my hours will be as a newly minted doctor have become more real this year. I often wake up at the crack of dawn and leave home before he's even awake. I work 12 hour days on most rotations and come home too exhausted to cook much for dinner. I have to spend a couple hours each night studying before bed.

I know it's been hard on my husband. But he prays for me. He prays that I will be a light to my patients, that I will use this unique opportunity given to me to show my patients God's love. And he prays for grace to act with patience and love towards me, even when I'm short-tempered or stressed or boring him to death with yet another story about a patient or bursting into tears for no good reason.

My journey to becoming a doctor is only just beginning. We don't know where we'll be next year. We don't know when we will receive the gift of our very own baby Jeong. And we don't know where (and if) God will send us abroad as missionaries in the future. I'm so thankful that God has given me my husband to walk with me every step of this process. He shows Christlike sacrifice, love, and commitment in the way he supports me through my years of medical training.

And if he saw that I was writing a blog post about him, he'd be embarrassed. So I'll stop now.

Being a doctor, being a patient

Doctors have trouble being patients. And I'm no exception, even though I'm still 1 year away from being an actual doctor. 

My eye was a good wake up call. While on my OBGYN rotation, I developed a weird focal redness just on one segment of my right eye. It made me look like I had severe pink eye, but I ignored it because I didn't wanna miss any hours on the rotation for a doctor's visit. What are they gonna do? I thought. Probably just tell me to use eye drops until the redness goes away. Well, not one, not two, but three weeks into this eye redness, a kind nurse finally forced me to go see an eye doctor. Thank goodness, because apparently I had some ulceration on top of a bacterial infection on top of extremely dry, irritated eyes from chronic misuse of my contacts (oops). And $80 worth of eye medications later, I promised my eye doctor I'd take better care of my eyes, "because you need to see in order to take care of patients!" Good point, doc.

And then today, I became a patient while seeing a patient. I'd been sick the past few days with some upper respiratory virus (It's kind of inevitable after 3 sick kids in a row sneeze on you). But today I felt strangely nauseous at the office and pretty dehydrated. I brushed it off, telling myself to toughen up and go see the 18-year old girl who had just arrived. As we were chatting, I felt a sudden onset of cold sweats, nausea, lightheadedness, and felt the blood rush from my head. I've passed out before and I knew where this was headed...to the floor. Thankfully I didn't actually lose consciousness; I just had a controlled, non-traumatic fall as my lightheadedness took control over my body. We were talking about dentists when I fell. And she had to call for a nurse to help me up and onto an exam table. For the next 20 minutes, I couldn't get up or move much, because I'd get dizzy and nauseous all over again. My mouth felt parched. Finally, I thought I could stay vertical without collapsing, so I wobbled back into my patients exam room, determined to finish her exam. She ended up staying one hour longer than she needed to because of my little episode, and it was both humiliating and humbling to show a patient my "humanity" - that is, that doctors aren't perfect and doctors need doctors too. But then again, I insisted on seeing her through till the end, and told my attending that I didn't need to take a water break until after the morning session was over when, clearly, I was dehydrated and needed to give my brain some extra fluid.

It's a dangerous mentality that I feel like many doctors fall victim to. We prefer to diagnose or treat ourselves, ignoring the fact that our judgment can be clouded when it comes to our own health. We feel too proud of our position as "healers" to admit that we are in desperate need of healing ourselves. We feel ashamed when our patients catch a glimpse of our illness, because aren't we doctors and supposed to know how to make everything better?

Today, I learned the hard-but-soft way that I must pray against these prideful thoughts! And on a tangent.. How much more dangerous it is to think that we have no need for spiritual healing and that we arent desperately broken because of sin, without Christs blood that freely covers over our iniquities! 

And due to today's inclement weather, all of our afternoon patients cancelled their appointments so I am blissfully laying on my couch, allowing my brain to soak up whatever fluids it was deprived of this morning. Thank God for providing for my physical needs, even when I try to ignore them. 

On that note, stay safe! 

Remember this name, first years

There is one piece of advice that I would give to all JMC first years when they return for second year in the fall:

Tim Beer.

He's graduating this May. He's a genius. He shared all of his second year notes. He makes dense, frustrating lecture notes readable, understandable, and do-able.  Given the widely varying quality of lecture notes that you'll get for Foundations of Clinical Medicine, this guy's notes are a gem.

USE his notes. PRINT out his tables.

I can't tell you how many exams he's prevented me from failing this year.

I don't have much second year advice because, overall, I didn't do too well. But this is one thing I would strongly, highly, fervently recommend.

If we could vote for students to receive Teacher of the Year awards, I would vote for Tim Beer.

Time to go look at his notes...

Winding down and burning out...

Sad, this blog. Right? I'd fully intended to keep up with the writing throughout the year, but clearly this hasn't happened. Better late than never!

With exactly 2 weeks left of my second year of medical school, I find myself so utterly burnt out and exhausted by the pace and intensity of learning that med school demands. And a learning curve that's steeper than anything I've ever attempted before.

And then there's Step 1. 

For you non-medical people, that's the first of the three-part National Medical Licensing Exam (the "boards"). It's the toughest one of the 3 steps, and the score you get largely determines which medical specialty you are eligible for.  No big deal, right..?

But as tired and drained as I am, I look forward to my 6 week period of boards studying with anticipation and thankfulness. And I'm gonna write it here now, for 1-month-into-the-future me.. as a reminder.

1. I'm anticipating this time because it's everything we've been preparing for, hearing about, and dreading - since Day 1 of medical school. Whenever upper years and doctors told us, "You should definitely know this, because it's on the boards." We would look at each other and cringe with fear. The booaaardds! It was a scary, mysterious monster that loomed between us and the envied "clinical years". And I'm finally 2 weeks away from doing battle with it. I hope I'm ready.
2. As difficult as this period will be, it represents the FINAL weeks of my pre-clinical years. Yes, the 12-hours-a-day, 6-days-a-week will blow. But just 6 weeks of suffering and I can say goodbye to the endless lectures, the hours of studying without a face to put to the disease, the monotony and stress of it all. Forever. 
3. Thankful. Not everyone gets to be a full-time student. Not everyone makes it into medical school. Not everyone gets the wonder of studying the human body. My God has become so much bigger to me, as I've learned more about His creation. The intricacies, the detail, the fragility of how everything works together... He is an awesome God.
4. Broken for the sickness, the sorrows, the pains that fill this world. We live in a fallen world because of sin, which tainted everything good that God created. But there is such a huuge redemption plan, a powerful act of grace and sacrifice and love! One day, Jesus will wipe away the tears and sorrows of those who know Him. And until that day comes, I have the privilege of using my medical knowledge to serve the needy and point them to Christ, the one who gives real healing and eternal life. 

It was a rough and humbling two years, but I am so thankful for everything that I've learned.

Dad in East Africa

{Photo credit to dad}  Taken during one of mom & dad's annual visits to Kenya

Please join me and my family in prayer as my dad leads a team of Korean medical students to East Africa on medical missions! They'll be there for the rest of January and all of February. Many of you who have experienced short-term missions know that God uses the prayers of supporters in powerful, faithful ways on the field. So again, please, we would be so grateful if you could lift my father and his team up with prayers over the next two months. Here are some specific requests:

• God. Pray that the team, the missionaries, and the people that will be served will be blessed with a rich, undeniable experience of God. That God would make His presence known to all who are touched. That His powerful gift of salvation would be received by many.
• Team. The medical students that attend this trip are part of my dad's program for students who are interested in becoming medical missionaries. Pray that their hearts will be convicted through this trip, and that God will raise up future physicians who willingly forsake a rich, prestigious career at home to bring spiritual and physical healing to the ends of the earth.
• Dad. Pray for physical strength to endure the long traveling hours and the pressure of leading this team without my mom, who couldn't join him this year. Pray that he will have intimate times with God every day. Pray for love for his students.
• Safety. For physical, mental, emotional, spiritual safety. Some of their ministries take place in areas of unrest. Many of their ministries are located in rural, middle-of-nowhere areas. Pray for this team's safety. 
• The rest of us... For me, sister, mom, grandparents. That we would not be anxious about my dad's safety and well-being, but that we would be vigilant in prayer and thankful for a chance to serve the Lord as a family, even though this time it's only my dad making the trip. 

Thank you for praying. Really. 

{Photo credit to dad} Oh, that precious children like these might come to know the healing and forgiveness of the Lord...

Before the Throne

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin

Because a sinless Savior died

My sinful soul is counted free

For God, the Just, is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

To look on Him and pardon me

What a powerful Gospel we are gifted with. As the years of my walk with God increase, and my understanding of the Gospel and God's love for His people increase, the words of this hymn hold more and more meaning and weight.  My heart sings this song today.

Hallelujah, Praise the One, Risen Son of God.

Loving you deeply, through prayer.

Photo credit: You Na

How Deep the Father's Love for Us - Phillips, Craig, and Dean

Today, I'm praying for this group of women (pictured above). Each one is a dear sister and future colleague. I could go on about how God has been opening our timid, injured, or calloused hearts; and allowing us to share in each other's deepest struggles and richest blessings. But I've gushed about my girls on this blog already (I think), so I'll save Part 13958 of that for another day.

Today, I feel an urge to pray for you girls.

Thanksgiving for your words and prayers for me - the gentle way you point out my need for Christ. The thoughtfulness with which you ask me the hard questions. The love that you show, even when I am hard to love.

Prayers for the personal "bondages" that we all identified last week: the things in life that prevent you from fully enjoying God, and from obeying His word.

Prayers that you will truly believe...

• That health is a blessing, but it is far better to be sick if it will drive us to Jesus.
• That success is a blessing, but that we will praise God in times of poverty or  failed careers or thwarted life plans - if it will turn our eyes to the pure, holy, everlasting promise of heaven that we've inherited.
• That friends, family, husband - companionship - is a blessing, but that we would embrace and cherish loneliness if it will increase our longing and desire for a deeper relationship with Jesus. The one who never fails us, and never leaves us.

And that at the end of this race, when we stand at heaven's gate, I will see you there; and we will all share in a wondrous, joyful, unspeakably amazing celebration with Jesus Christ. Until then, let's press on. =)

Real Life at the Jeongs

Today,

I was going to make homemade biscuits for the first time.

I lined up the ingredients real nice, so you could see everything that went into my biscuits...

And then, pleasantly surprised at how fast I got done, I stuck the two trays in the oven and turned on a Friends rerun to watch while waiting.

Three minutes into baking, my oven started smoking. And suddenly, I noticed that our whole apartment looked hazy and smelled like burning wax.

I yelled for YS, and just as he ran the 5 steps from the bedroom to our kitchen, the fire alarm started ringing. Great. A visit from 911 to start off our vacation.

Thankfully, it wasn't a fire (whew!) and we were able to turn off the alarm by wildly fanning the air under it with our pillow; and I rushed my two trays of half-baked biscuits outside to cool off.

What is the lesson you can gain from this? You probably should not use wax paper as "cookie sheets" when lining your baking trays, especially when the baking temperature is quite high (like 450 F). That's the only thing that burned and smelled, so I assume that was the problem.

When I started this blog, I resolved to share both the goodies and the mess-ups of my life - recipes included. So here you are: one major mistake that you should learn from and not repeat.

There is a time for second chances, though! I will re-try these tomorrow morning. From the half-baked biscuit that I tried (and then spat out at my husband's command), the taste was promising! Maybe tomorrow I'll add some herbs and garlic... Stay tuned!

Now if someone could just tell me how to get rid of that awful burning wax smell...

::Edit: I just realized that my laptop deleted the 2 photos that I uploaded from my camera, after I deleted the photos off my memory card. Ah, well. Tomorrow will be a new day for photos too.::

To the girl that became a woman overnight...

On November 13, 1991, when I was just 4, my life was changed forever. That day, Mom went to the hospital to take out the baby hiding behind her big belly. I was excited, but also scared. Why did she have to hide inside Mom for so long? Would she share my toys with me? 

At first I didn't like it. Mom, Dad, and all my relatives had focused their sole attention on me.... until my sister was born. Now I had to share the love with her.

But soon I found that having a baby sis around wasn't so bad after all! When Mom and Dad were busy, I could play with my sister. When I wanted to practice being a teacher, or doctor, or pilot, I always had someone to play my student, patient, or passenger. 

There was never a dull moment in the house, especially with a funky, goofy sister like mine!

Having a sister to complete our family was (is) a huge blessing from God as well. He knew how much I would need a sister to weather all of the changes that our family would face. 

Together, we moved from our big home in Canada to the small apartment in California. 

Together, we found new friends and fell in love with our church family in LA. 

Together, we braved out the mean boys on the school bus who kept calling us Chinese. 

Together, we were able to turn what could have been a difficult, lonely move to Mongolia into a Boxcar Children adventure (the book series we were obsessed with back then). And because we had each other, it was much less daunting to play with kids whose language we didn't understand; to endure   the walks to gym class in -40F weather; and to adjust to our new school and church communities. 

My sister was just a little girl of eleven when I had to leave home for boarding school in Germany. I was sad to leave my family behind, but the transition was much harder for my sister. In my eyes, she turned into a woman overnight. One summer I came home, and my sister still wanted to play "Chinese jump rope"; not many summers later, she had grown into a teenager who experienced and saw more of the hurts and difficulties of life than I wished for her. But our God is a God of extravagant love: I could clearly see His hand in the life of my sister; praise Him for molding her into the woman she is today!

I can hardly believe that this beautiful, caring girl is now 21 and a senior in college. My sister is the most deeply loving, gorgeous, kind woman out there. Many more life lessons and experiences are sure to come, but I know that God has been faithful and will continue to reveal His faithfulness in her life. 

Dearest Lemon,

Happy 21st Birthday!! You're the rock star of the Pak clan, the only one that would ever have the courage to take new risks and blaze through a Pak-untrodden path. I love you to the moon and back (and I only pull out my cheesy phrases for you)! Thanks for blessing my life with lessons in love, laughter, and second chances (that is, after our fights... hehe). Can't wait to see you in January!!

Love,

Unni

PS: Stay goofy!

Surviving Sandy, Enchilada Style

Hurricane Sandy is finally starting to die off in the PA/NJ/NY region, but not after leaving millions without power and hundreds of trees collapsed over houses, cars, roads, and fences... We're thankful downtown Philadelphia didn't get hit too hard, and our hearts and prayers go out to all of you that were more affected by Sandy - especially you guys in NYC or north Jersey!

Both of our schools were closed yesterday and today. For some reason, being "stuck" at home (as opposed to choosing to stay home) made studying unbearable enough that we barely got anything done! But we plowed through the day and, just as the storm started hitting the hardest, rewarded ourselves with a comforting dinner and movie. (Side note: We never watch movies because it's too much time away from studying and other responsibilities. So this was not a small deal.)

So if your electricity's still on, and you're stranded at home for another day or two (like us), give this recipe a try! I didn't change anything from the Pioneer Woman's Enchilada recipe, so visit her website to learn how to make it - and to see photos that do better justice to the meal than our measly point-and-shoot attempts :)

Our version - Enchiladas con Sandy

I started by simmering this enchilada sauce for 45 minutes, which smelled so good...

This recipe involves a lot of chopping. You should chop chop chop while the sauce is simmering.

Oh, a tip: The original recipe calls for canned diced green chilies that, I assume, are not supposed to be spicy. I used fresh Serrano hot peppers instead, and put less than the recipe called for to even out the spice. If you want to use hot peppers like me, I'd suggest halving the amount altogether. Hubs found that the spiciness took away from the other flavors, although I didn't mind.. but then again, I like everything extra spicy. ;)

Dipping corn tortillas in the sauce: don't let it soak for too long!

Meat, olives, peppers, and cheese; then rolled up and placed seam down into the pan.

We improvised on the cheese: cheddar + leftover mozzarella + leftover Habanera sandwich cheese. I like wandering off the recipe.

These smelled so good in the oven. Oh my gosh. Look at that cheese (and don't think about your arteries).

I don't usually make high-calorie meals like this, but hurricane weather allows for some special circumstances. Right?

I think this was a pretty darn good meal, all things considered. It was my first time making enchiladas, and I didn't really know what an enchilada was before I decided to make it, and I'm not a huge fan of Mexican food to begin with (it's Mexican, yes?).

A great dinner for stormy weather. :)

Back from the (Blog)Dead

Pic source

I'm back!

For those of you who did, thank you for expressing your sadness over the dead state of this blog the past couple of months. I am touched that you find my blog posts captivating to read, and our lives worth keeping up with! The Jeongs have been surviving, thriving, and striving.

Surviving.
Whew, MS2 (2nd year of medical school) is no joke! During MS1, I struggled to keep up with the immense amount of information that was force-fed to us every day. The material wasn't actually difficult, though; it was just too much, too fast. This year, the coursework is not only highly accelerated, it is also difficult to learn. For example, in 2 1/2 weeks, we learned about every single bacteria that has ever infected humans: their biological characteristics, how to grow and identify it in a diagnostic lab, how it causes disease, how to diagnose it, and how to treat it. And then we learned about antibiotics: mechanisms of action, side effects and toxicities, warnings, and what doctors use each drug for. Needless to say, my brain is being challenged and stretched. It is a steep learning curve that hasn't exactly leveled off yet (does it ever?). But I am passing my classes, and I thank the Lord for that.

Hubs is loving seminary. Let me rephrase that. He is absolutely loving his studies, enjoying his classes, and staying on top of his schoolwork. I am thankful to have a husband who finds joy in studying, excitement in attending class, and eagerness to share everything he is learning with me. I sat in on one of his classes a few weeks back, and I had to keep reminding myself that this was a lecture and not an extended sermon! It was good. :)

Our house has become a little messier, my cooking is less frequent and more basic-survival-mode, and our leisure time is very limited. But God has been good to us in our marriage, and through Christian community. Surviving.

Thriving.
I recently had my first recorded patient interview of the year. First and second year students practice their doctoring skills by interviewing "fake" patients (paid to act as patients) in a simulated hospital room. The interviews are recorded, then watched in our small groups with peers and professors, who provide feedback about what we did well and what we need to change.

It's slightly embarrassing to show your video to others, but thank goodness I'm not the guy who worked up a good lather of soap in his hands before realizing that the water didn't turn on; or the girl who asked her post-menopausal patient for the date of her last period (she said, "I went through menopause. I don't get periods."), and then immediately asked if she was on birth control (she just looked at the poor student.). Oh wait, that was me. Let's just say, I've learned a lot since then.

A month ago, we had to interview a patient and then guide them through their diagnosis and treatment plan. We weren't told that the patients were instructed to challenge our plan and demand another form of treatment. After fumbling around in the beginning (I nervously introduced myself by my maiden name and earned a confused glance at my white coat, which clearly said "JEONG". I guess "Pak" is easier to say when I'm flustered?), I got myself settled. The interview really took off from there! I genuinely enjoyed the interview, and got super excited when I found out that I had just learned about my patient's case in class that very morning. It was one of the best [fake] interviews I've done, and the first time I used what I'm learning in class to help a patient out. It brought back meaning and motivation to my studies, which, frankly, I need a lot of. I'm itching to get to the end of second year and finally hit the wards, but I think I'll let myself enjoy this process of learning a little more - because this year, what I learn can actually be applied to someone in need. Thriving.

Striving.
Hubs and I are striving to become more sacrificial, more forgiving, and more proactive in our relationship with each other. We've been extremely busy since this school year began, and we let too many things fall by the wayside: our weekly family worship times, praying for each other, showing our love with acts of service, and spending time together (outside of studying). We want our marriage to continue to grow and mature, especially in this busy season of our lives. We love and crave your married advice and encouragement, so please feel free to send them our way!

There - I've finally dusted out the unused pages of my blog! Here's to more frequent (albeit shorter) updates from the Jeongs - cheers! :)

Walking should be a sport

I can't believe I walked 6.6 miles on Saturday. 

From home to Rittenhouse square to meet my friend, then to Logan Square in search of some College Day coupons (which we failed to find), to Chinatown for some bubble tea, and then all the way to Race Street Pier by the Delaware River.... and finally my hour+ walk home!

Walking should be a sport. I'm good at it.

Inspired today.

source

Not that y'all haven't noticed, but I've been getting [back] into the blogging thing lately.

I don't just have my own blog, though. I also follow countless cooking blogs (kitchen inspiration!), friends' blogs (babies, marriage, faith, life. I love.), and random Christian strangers' blogs.

Each is a source of inspiration, encouragement, and challenge. Get into that kitchen and try something new, Esther. Share your faith more often with your friends, Esther. See how God worked through this stranger's difficult times and transformed her faith, Esther. One of the best "wasting time" activities, in my opinion.

Today I was encouraged by this woman's blog. I respect her so much for the difficult things that she went through, because of a deep trust in God that rose up from her suffering. Her faith is so real. Faith that is strengthened and made even more secure by pain - that is the kind of faith that reminds me of how powerful, loving, and REAL our Lord is.

Check out her blog, if you have time. More blog recommendations to come in the future :)

Dating my husband

Today was date day.

We just couldn't waste this Saturday indoors, especially with such perfect end-of-the-summer weather and a ton of [free!] events going on in our city. So I set my virus charts aside, he closed his computer, and we spent our afternoon just dating each other. No grocery shopping, no errands (minus a teeny trip to the bank), no time crunch!

First stop: the front door of our apartment. Gotta document everything we can! :P

Rittenhouse Arts Festival & Farmers' Market

We tried our best to sound artistically cultured. I think we [almost] pulled it off.

No outdoor market/fair is complete without some fresh-squeezed lemonade!

I'm definitely a city girl. I love urban life. Even if the most we can do right now is to window-shop (and window-drool). Yes, we window-drool.

Gorgeous.

I'm a med student and he's a seminarian. Plainly translated, we be bookworms. Do you think we'd pass by a bookstore without poking our heads in? 

Now, for the highlight of our date (at least, for me): I brought home the first of many - I hope! - baby herb plants!! Today's baby was basil. I'm hoping to find some cilantro plants next!

I was so happy to find these at the farmers' market, because I hate buying produce like basil, cilantros, mint, or parsley in fixed quantities. They go bad so easily, and it makes me sad to see those poor little leaves rotting away in the fridge. So of course, the natural solution would be to just keep them as plant babies!

Dear babies, please grow us lots of fragrant basil leaves for many many years, and don't be offended by my lack of plant-nurturing skills. I will try my very best not to kill you. 

My basil looks so satisfied on that windowsill. And my loving husband does our dishes yet again :)

How was your weekend?

Change my heart

We spent this weekend in the Poconos for a church leadership retreat.

My heart felt like stone on our drive up. Hubs and I had been a part of Liberti for a year now, and yet I still felt disconnected from the community, or that no one outside of our homegroup (or small group, Bible study, whatever you call it) knew who I was. So to be heading to a retreat with other leaders, to be involved with setting the vision of our church for the coming year, was an irony - because my heart didn't feel invested in this community.

But I lost that stony heart somewhere between our worship times, discussions of which areas our church must grow in so that we can love God, other people, and Philadelphia better, and sweet conversations with other brothers and sisters.

Somewhere in the midst of hearing the testimonies, the leaders' earnest pursuit of God, and encouragements from the pastors, I began to see just how much Jesus loves our church and has been faithfully guiding us as a community.

I'm thankful to have found a new, softer, functioning heart up in the Poconos. I want to love my church this year, and to pursue deeper relationships with the brothers and sisters there. Blog readers, keep me accountable.

Fluffy Pancakes!

I feel slightly ashamed to be posting this recipe on my blog, because it's not my own. I wish I could give credit where credit is due, but I follow so many blogs and recipe sites... sometimes I lose track of which recipe came from what blogger.

This recipe's been on our fridge door for a few months now. It passed Esther's Cardinal Rules of a tape-onto-the-fridge-worthy recipe:

1. Simple (uses basic ingredients I always have on hand)
2. Quick to make (this is KEY for the busy wife. mmhmm.)
3. Fool-proof (immune to Esther's kitchen mistakes...)
4. Husband approves (he compliments all my dishes, but there's a certain relish with which he devours the meals that he really likes. I like to think of it as his special stamp of approval.)

So be warned, my friends. If you're looking for a mind-blowingly unique pancake experience, you dialed the wrong number (err... typed in the wrong website?). What follows is a simple, duplicatable, delicious batch of fluffy pancakes. Nom. :)

Fluffy Pancakes: The Recipe

You need: 

• 3/4 cup milk
• 2 Tbsp white vinegar (I tried apple cider vinegar once, and it turned out good too!)
• 1 cup flour
• 2 Tbsp white sugar (or loosely packed brown sugar)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 egg
• 2 Tbsp melted butter

Ready?? 

First, you combine the milk and vinegar and set it aside for 5 minutes. This is crucial to the fluffiness of these pancakes. After 5 minutes, your sour milk will look like this:

Meanwhile, mix together the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, baking powder & soda, and salt).

Whisk the egg, pour in the melted butter, and combine this egg-butter goo with the sour milk. Sound appetizing so far? ;)

Then pour the wet mixture into the dry mix. Mix away, but you must remember to leave some lumps!! I don't remember exactly why, but my notes say that the blogger explained that it makes or breaks the texture of your pancakes. I don't challenge the expertise of "professional" food bloggers; you shouldn't either.

Leave. Lumps. In.

Now, I wake up way earlier than my husband does on a weekend (6 am versus 9 am). I get hungry in the morning, so sometimes I make this batter at 6, cook myself a few pancakes, and set the remaining batter aside until the man wants breakfast. You can store it in the fridge, too! Just make sure it's back to room temperature before you cook. (Blogger's advice.)

Oil a pan and set it on medium heat. When the pan is hot enough, pour 1/4 cupfuls (I use a ladle) and gently spread. You'll know when to flip it because bubbles will start to appear on the surface. Flip, and cook until the other side is also golden brown.

Easy, right?? I'm sure you can do it too!

See how excited my husband is to dig in?

(OK... In reality, I pulled him out of bed and forced a shirt on him so he could pose for this picture - all in the name of taking an artsy fartsy photo for you blogfans. Don't worry, I rewarded him with an extra huge breakfast of pancakes, eggs, coffee, and assorted fruit!)

Now go enjoy your weekend brunches, and I'm gonna enjoy my first Postexam Weekend of second year!! Woop! 

Once a Day, Smile.

"My daughter, you must cultivate a joyful and peaceful atmosphere at home. Once a day, smile. You smile a lot, but you must especially smile when you are stressed or anxious."

My mother knows me. I'm a smiley and happy girl by nature, but my face and attitude so easily betray me when I'm having a bad day or am stressed.

Tuesday was one of those moments. Med school exams were looming just 3 days away (translation: each millisecond not spent studying felt wasted). Intending to study for a couple hours before class, I woke up early - but somehow, after fixing myself breakfast and packing lunch+snacks for Hubs and lunch+snacks+dinner for myself, my two study hours disappeared! I rushed out the door and ran to the bus stop. 10 minutes passed. No bus. 15... 17... 25 minutes, but still no bus. And late for class.

Did I smile? Why yes, I put on a beautiful, relaxed smile; and when my husband offered to drop me off, I sweetly thanked him for going out of his way for me.

....NOT. That's what I should have done. Instead, I angry-texted my husband and somehow made it seem like his fault. That, dear readers, is something you should never do.

He didn't have to leave home for another half hour, but he graciously ignored the angry undertones of my text and offered to drive me to school as soon as he was ready.

I stood there at the corner, seething and shooting death glares at any poor soul that dared make accidental eye contact. It was not a pretty morning, and I was not a cultivator of joy or peace in the Jeong home.

Why am I writing about this ugly (and petty) morning?
Because this is who I am. My heart is sinful. My motives are selfish. My temper is ugly. If there was anyone on this planet that should deserve to be in heaven... honey, I am not a prime candidate.

But God DID choose this undeserving girl! My husband gave me a small, earthly glimpse of this undeserved love. He chose not to get angry at my irrational temper and telling me to toughen up; he offered to go 30 minutes out of his way to drive me to school; he prayed for my heart, that I would cling to God's promises and find peace in them. He didn't say a word about how apologetic I should be towards him.

My mom told me to smile once a day, and I know what she means now. Even when my heart feels darkened by my own sin and the sins of this world, even when I feel distant from God, smile. "Because I am confident of this: that He who began a good work in me will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6, slightly paraphrased).

I rest secure in God's promises. In the meanwhile, friends, please pray that I will learn to smile in the midst of angst; not a shallow smile to cover up a tempestuous heart, but a smile that starts deep within my soul - from a quiet, trusting heart that finds unshakable peace in the fullness of her Father's love.

**p.s. excuse me if this post rambles a bit. Being 12 hours away from an exam doesn't usually result in eloquence. Also, I apologize for not posting that pancake recipe. I will this weekend, I promise!

Bullet-Point Sunday

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This past week, in bullet-point form:

• If there's one thing this week has taught me, it's that life never. slows. down. Hubs and I were immediately thrown back into a full week of work and school the day after we returned from Korea. What a busy, eventful, exhausting, yet encouraging week it's been. My brain is scattered with the updates and thoughts I want to share, so I've turned this post into my first official Bullet-Point Sunday! Be on the lookout for these each week =)

• I'm a second year medical student. Just one year shy of taking the formidable boards and starting rotations, which is the second (and much anticipated!) phase of medical training. I am having trouble getting back into the groove of studying, though. Let's admit it - I'm a nerd. I grew up loving school, and the first day of school was always one of my favorite days of fall. It's the first time, ever, that I headed to my first day without any excitement or anticipation. Sure, I was excited to see my friends again, but that's different. I dreaded picking up our syllabus, and when I saw how thick the notes were for our first 3-week course, my heart dropped to my stomach as my brain told me, "Summer's over." 

• God has been so full of mercy towards me this week, though. I had sweet and refreshing times with him almost every morning this week, meditating on several chapters of Psalms. 

• I find myself praying every day that God would carry me through the next hour, this day, this year. I don't know why I feel so tired of studying and burnt out already, and second year has barely begun! Please pray, friends, that I will rely on my Father to find joy in what I learn, and to be thankful and content with the life He has given me right now. 

• For the past few years, my Facebook newsfeed was dominated by engagements and weddings. Now my newsfeed is slowly becoming overrun with this one's ultrasounds, that one's baby bump progression, profile pictures of their baby, "first steps" videos, you name it! So much so that Hubs and I find ourselves talking more and more about "when will we have one?". Oh, don't get too excited; you'll have to wait a couple more years before you see that kind of news from us. ;) But it does make me wonder. When will we receive the gift of our very first daughter or son? I am so glad that my Father knows the perfect timing for our first baby to come; it's comforting to know that He will provide everything that we need when this season arrives. 

• Last week we met some of Hubs' future seminary classmates (and their wives!) at a dinner event. I'm excited for Hubs to start school! I think he will make some great friends (who have awesome wives) this year. We're both so thankful that God provided us this new community to be a part of. 

• That's it for now, friends. Check back later this week for a kitchen update on My Favorite Pancake Recipe!

Memories to last a lifetime

Hot, very hot. And humid - record-breaking humidity.
 
More patbingsoo than we imagined our bellies could handle.

Cheering on our motherland in the London Olympics (which we did very well in, by the way - for the tiny country that we are, we ranked 5th in the total number of medals!).

Waking up in the middle of the night to watch the soccer matches live.

Hiking along the old walls that once protected a smaller, more ancient Seoul.

Meeting his relatives, meeting mine.

Spending quality time with my parents and his dad.

A weekend in the lush, green mountains of Kang-Won Province.

Lots and lots of Korean popsicles.

Even more street shopping.

Some of the best Korean food we've ever had (the best were from the countryside, of course).

Reminiscing about the other summer that we were in Korea together: the one after our freshman year of college, when we were dating-but-not-really-but-really-we-were. 

It all passed by in such a wonderful, memory-filled blur. Thank goodness we took almost 400 photos of the past 2 weeks, so we can pause at each event and remember.

It'll be difficult setting my mind back to school mode again, and so fast: we arrived back in the US today, and I start school tomorrow! (Hm, do I sense a trend going on here? Last year we returned from our honeymoon the day before med school orientation. That means next year...uh oh.)
But I feel recharged from our vacation, and ready to face what this new school year (for both of us!) will bring!

Goodbye, sweet Korea.
Hello, Philadelphia, medical school part 2, and wife-of-a-seminarian part 1!